Many things changed after that.Before (long before), I adored Gopalan.His presence was a personal festivity.When his workplace was near my home,he used to visit us every now and then.Whenever he came,he brought something immensely valuable for me _ stories ,unheard brand new ones._.Maybe an incident which took place in his office or a rumour in the town.He'll glorify it and account it to my father " Sir, you know.."The more audience,The better he was ,in his art.And the young me was always the most attentive listener.But,that was all long back.
Then,he got transferred to that god forsaken remote village.Few months later, I heard the townfolks talking about him," No news about him.It is said that he went into the forest and never returned".That sunday,when I reported the week's gossips to my mom,I added this stuff.But, that was also long back.
This incident took place much later.That was when we went to that Murukeshwara temple as pilgrims.'We' means my mother,her colleagues,their families and me.My father is an atheist and even I was starting to become one, then.
"Do you know? Actually, the temple was first situated at the top of Makutagiri,the hill.The Temple which we see know in Kanthaguda was built ,later", Mr.Ramakrishnan,my mom's colleague was explaining.Some of the listeners, who were more interested in shopping than learning the temple's history and myths ,were sleeping.Some others were discussing important matters,like how horrible their mother-in-law is,or how studious their children are.... But, all that is irrelevant in this story.
The males in the group,a really trivial number, were bored to death after those poojas and shopping.They decided to climb the Makutagiri and see the original temple,like many other pilgrims.I guess, everyone does it when they are bored.
Th hill was steep,and the stream so young.She was jogging down the escarpment with an ease unseen and grace unforgettable.The climb-up was tiring.Here and there, we had to stop and relax and the path was nothing like you would imagine.It was hard to distinguish and to walk on.And the leeches, Oh , they were horrible!
We met him uphill.It looked like a desolate hut.So, when he suddenly appeared out of it ,it was a bit surprising for everyone.But, none was surprised like me and more surprisingly , he recognised me." achoo, son , how many years since I saw you... oh, those were such nice days, how's your.."He started chatting as easily as before and enquired about each and everyone in our town, though I knew very few of them.....He was not the kind of saint you would expect living near a temple, that too an old , almost deserted temple.But, he was a help for them.He knew the poojaris and managed everything quite fast.Having met their needs,they wanted to return, get down, back into the cosy AC-ness of the airbus.No leeches.No sweat.
But, I wanted to talk.I had met a childhood friend or more accurately ,a childhood ecstasy or even an epiphany.And we talked.I was all questions."What happened,Why do you live in such a place and all alone? how? when?" But questions donot matter.No one likes them.Everyone prefers answers, in detail and yet, precise.
" Son, that was a wretched wicked place, i tell you, really wicked! When I got the transfer order, everyone told me so.But I didnt take them seriously.I was so confident about myself.The freedom of being single and my young insane valour made me do it.The place was totally mystic.Everyone had nothing to talk other than about ghosts and vampires.But, the forest was really beautiful.Calm and green.The locals didn't know much about the routs into the forest or what lived there or anything about the forest.They considered forest as a divine entity.They,ofcourse , cut down trees and all that.But, never did they go further in the forest or further up.They were scared.Fear, like nothing you might think of.Son, they were really afraid, of something of which they wouldn't tell me.All of them wore some peculiar rakshas, though...Black thick strings tied around the wrists , to ward off evils..
And, one day, you know what happened..I met her.She, whom they fear.They called her Kali.But, she prefers to be called Malgosia, stylish, she says.She was not a ghost or a witch.She was just a spirit.A soul of something dead.She didn't know what.She could've been a soul of a tiger or a tree or even a butterfly or awoman..She didn't know..She didn't have any companions for a long long time.Everyone was afraid of her when she revealed her presence to them and she scared them too.That was when she got terribly bored.But, when she saw that I held my nerve, she liked me.That, my son was a terrible like.She wouldn't leave me.Even when I eat , even when I undress,Even when I bathe and she being a 'she' made me uneasy though I was not sure whether she was a human 'she'.
But, even that was ok, compared to what she went on to be.She became possessive.She wouldn't allow any one to talk with me or even be with me, not for more than 10 or 15 minutes.But, still ,I managed my work and her together, till that day.
I was a little too pressed ,that day.I spent a lot more time in office than usual.She got angry.We argued and quarrelled for long long hours.But that didn't help.Her temper became worse.She became a wind and hit the farms.She flooded the river.she killed cattle and men and beasts.she went on rampaging till I apoologised.that night, I decided to move from the place, hoping she wouldn't find me.But I was fighting a losing battle.The hilly town was not far for her..She reached the coastal village shortly after me.She was awaiting me when I reached my native place.I couldn't hide from her.Not at all.By and by,She began to hate all kinds of company.And I had to hate whatever she hated.That's how we ended up here.Here, i'm left to her alone for most of the time and she is happy.In fact, she helps me do the household work,but I dont think she is used to it.She is more inhuman than human."
It was getting really dark, an hour or so past dusk, and most of my companions had gone.A few who stayed back with my mother's ' little one' were getting impatient.I knew that the time had come to leave.and we said 'Goodbye' with a wild improbable 'see you later'.
While walking down the hill, Gopalan's story was floating over my head.After some time, I egan to suspect the honesty in his story.It could've been just another story of his, and I know his mastery in this art.I simply got angry.".... him thinking that I'm the same old little boy and... telling me ghost sories!...I should've disbelieved and told him so. shit!". I went back without company.the company had enough of this crap
_ secretive conversations , half mad childhood friend__.they waited down there.
When I got near the hut, I began hearing conversation."Oh damn! could this be the ghost..the 'kalosia' or whatever" . Curiousity and fear were having a serious tussle.A tug of war where fear always loses.Step by step, cautiously, I got near, telling myself that ghosts dinot exist.
".. but, they went back soon.. now what do you want??"
Eventhough I was afraid, i moved slowly towards the hut.and very abruptly, I peeped in expecting to see a horrible figure.But,NOTHING!Just, Gopalan talking.
" yes, he talked to me because he knew me before, when I was in Ramapuram.. so what? They went back.."
" sszz sh ss ysrsss"
Yes, I heard that.Something which I had never heard before.It could've been a swish of wind or hiss of a snake from somewhere in the bushes, below. i dont know.
Silence. Long calm silence..It was a full moon day.But two or three large savage clouds surrounded her pale yellow aura.and slowly, they enveloped her. Total pitch blck darkness.Fear was crawling over curiosity, kicking his butt and swearing.
" may be, he is just mad , talking to himself, living alone in this forested hill without fearing the beasts .. and all alone.."Then, suddenly, some horrible calm enveloped me.First, I thought I was running.Then ,it was like being carried by a strong wind or being pushed by a strong hand.Or maybe, I was running too fast, as I've never run before.But,i should've fell dowm, somewhere in those crags and steep rocks.But ,I didn't and somehow my eyes closed.. and I felt like being thrown up.i wanted to open my eyes , to see the world once more, if i am going to die.I thought I was going to fall, head down , into those rocks.
I dont know what happened ,then.They told me that I jumped down one huge rock and landed without any harm and fell unconscious, immediately after.It could've been just my imagination, fancy.. ...........All these feelings, horrible feeling of being imperiused.. all that were hallucinations.. delusions.. or that's how I would prefer to believe.. Gopalan visits me , even now, in dreams. Just dreams.. I won't call them nightmares.No.. not nightmares..He was the best entertainer I ever knew.
Then,he got transferred to that god forsaken remote village.Few months later, I heard the townfolks talking about him," No news about him.It is said that he went into the forest and never returned".That sunday,when I reported the week's gossips to my mom,I added this stuff.But, that was also long back.
This incident took place much later.That was when we went to that Murukeshwara temple as pilgrims.'We' means my mother,her colleagues,their families and me.My father is an atheist and even I was starting to become one, then.
"Do you know? Actually, the temple was first situated at the top of Makutagiri,the hill.The Temple which we see know in Kanthaguda was built ,later", Mr.Ramakrishnan,my mom's colleague was explaining.Some of the listeners, who were more interested in shopping than learning the temple's history and myths ,were sleeping.Some others were discussing important matters,like how horrible their mother-in-law is,or how studious their children are.... But, all that is irrelevant in this story.
The males in the group,a really trivial number, were bored to death after those poojas and shopping.They decided to climb the Makutagiri and see the original temple,like many other pilgrims.I guess, everyone does it when they are bored.
Th hill was steep,and the stream so young.She was jogging down the escarpment with an ease unseen and grace unforgettable.The climb-up was tiring.Here and there, we had to stop and relax and the path was nothing like you would imagine.It was hard to distinguish and to walk on.And the leeches, Oh , they were horrible!
We met him uphill.It looked like a desolate hut.So, when he suddenly appeared out of it ,it was a bit surprising for everyone.But, none was surprised like me and more surprisingly , he recognised me." achoo, son , how many years since I saw you... oh, those were such nice days, how's your.."He started chatting as easily as before and enquired about each and everyone in our town, though I knew very few of them.....He was not the kind of saint you would expect living near a temple, that too an old , almost deserted temple.But, he was a help for them.He knew the poojaris and managed everything quite fast.Having met their needs,they wanted to return, get down, back into the cosy AC-ness of the airbus.No leeches.No sweat.
But, I wanted to talk.I had met a childhood friend or more accurately ,a childhood ecstasy or even an epiphany.And we talked.I was all questions."What happened,Why do you live in such a place and all alone? how? when?" But questions donot matter.No one likes them.Everyone prefers answers, in detail and yet, precise.
" Son, that was a wretched wicked place, i tell you, really wicked! When I got the transfer order, everyone told me so.But I didnt take them seriously.I was so confident about myself.The freedom of being single and my young insane valour made me do it.The place was totally mystic.Everyone had nothing to talk other than about ghosts and vampires.But, the forest was really beautiful.Calm and green.The locals didn't know much about the routs into the forest or what lived there or anything about the forest.They considered forest as a divine entity.They,ofcourse , cut down trees and all that.But, never did they go further in the forest or further up.They were scared.Fear, like nothing you might think of.Son, they were really afraid, of something of which they wouldn't tell me.All of them wore some peculiar rakshas, though...Black thick strings tied around the wrists , to ward off evils..
And, one day, you know what happened..I met her.She, whom they fear.They called her Kali.But, she prefers to be called Malgosia, stylish, she says.She was not a ghost or a witch.She was just a spirit.A soul of something dead.She didn't know what.She could've been a soul of a tiger or a tree or even a butterfly or awoman..She didn't know..She didn't have any companions for a long long time.Everyone was afraid of her when she revealed her presence to them and she scared them too.That was when she got terribly bored.But, when she saw that I held my nerve, she liked me.That, my son was a terrible like.She wouldn't leave me.Even when I eat , even when I undress,Even when I bathe and she being a 'she' made me uneasy though I was not sure whether she was a human 'she'.
But, even that was ok, compared to what she went on to be.She became possessive.She wouldn't allow any one to talk with me or even be with me, not for more than 10 or 15 minutes.But, still ,I managed my work and her together, till that day.
I was a little too pressed ,that day.I spent a lot more time in office than usual.She got angry.We argued and quarrelled for long long hours.But that didn't help.Her temper became worse.She became a wind and hit the farms.She flooded the river.she killed cattle and men and beasts.she went on rampaging till I apoologised.that night, I decided to move from the place, hoping she wouldn't find me.But I was fighting a losing battle.The hilly town was not far for her..She reached the coastal village shortly after me.She was awaiting me when I reached my native place.I couldn't hide from her.Not at all.By and by,She began to hate all kinds of company.And I had to hate whatever she hated.That's how we ended up here.Here, i'm left to her alone for most of the time and she is happy.In fact, she helps me do the household work,but I dont think she is used to it.She is more inhuman than human."
It was getting really dark, an hour or so past dusk, and most of my companions had gone.A few who stayed back with my mother's ' little one' were getting impatient.I knew that the time had come to leave.and we said 'Goodbye' with a wild improbable 'see you later'.
While walking down the hill, Gopalan's story was floating over my head.After some time, I egan to suspect the honesty in his story.It could've been just another story of his, and I know his mastery in this art.I simply got angry.".... him thinking that I'm the same old little boy and... telling me ghost sories!...I should've disbelieved and told him so. shit!". I went back without company.the company had enough of this crap
_ secretive conversations , half mad childhood friend__.they waited down there.
When I got near the hut, I began hearing conversation."Oh damn! could this be the ghost..the 'kalosia' or whatever" . Curiousity and fear were having a serious tussle.A tug of war where fear always loses.Step by step, cautiously, I got near, telling myself that ghosts dinot exist.
".. but, they went back soon.. now what do you want??"
Eventhough I was afraid, i moved slowly towards the hut.and very abruptly, I peeped in expecting to see a horrible figure.But,NOTHING!Just, Gopalan talking.
" yes, he talked to me because he knew me before, when I was in Ramapuram.. so what? They went back.."
" sszz sh ss ysrsss"
Yes, I heard that.Something which I had never heard before.It could've been a swish of wind or hiss of a snake from somewhere in the bushes, below. i dont know.
Silence. Long calm silence..It was a full moon day.But two or three large savage clouds surrounded her pale yellow aura.and slowly, they enveloped her. Total pitch blck darkness.Fear was crawling over curiosity, kicking his butt and swearing.
" may be, he is just mad , talking to himself, living alone in this forested hill without fearing the beasts .. and all alone.."Then, suddenly, some horrible calm enveloped me.First, I thought I was running.Then ,it was like being carried by a strong wind or being pushed by a strong hand.Or maybe, I was running too fast, as I've never run before.But,i should've fell dowm, somewhere in those crags and steep rocks.But ,I didn't and somehow my eyes closed.. and I felt like being thrown up.i wanted to open my eyes , to see the world once more, if i am going to die.I thought I was going to fall, head down , into those rocks.
I dont know what happened ,then.They told me that I jumped down one huge rock and landed without any harm and fell unconscious, immediately after.It could've been just my imagination, fancy.. ...........All these feelings, horrible feeling of being imperiused.. all that were hallucinations.. delusions.. or that's how I would prefer to believe.. Gopalan visits me , even now, in dreams. Just dreams.. I won't call them nightmares.No.. not nightmares..He was the best entertainer I ever knew.
